7.2.09

What was your first Clue?

Ok, I have been working on this story. Its not really a MOAG story, but I think it could fit in the MOAG universe.

Hope you enjoy the story so far.

He remembered that day. Why? That was the first memory he could recall, that day. Fifteen years of searching and no clues as to why. He was cold, no warmth at all. But no body does that to someone. He had a body, of a kind, a technological wonder. But sense that day he has never really felt the warmth of his own skin, like being made of a tin shell. He tried to push the thought away, but today would be different. On this little underdeveloped planet. Today he will find the first clue. And he is in for a surprise bigger than any sense that day.

But to understand the first clue you need to understand what happened that day fifteen years ago. And how he has been hunted by the only ones that had the answers he has been looking for all this time. If he is lucky he just might survive.

As the light flickered into existence our friend wondered where he was, he couldn't recall what had happened. As he tried to look around the room he found that he couldn't move at all. He couldn't feel his arms and legs. He struggled to listen to his surroundings only to find that he couldn't hear anything. This was strange, he thought, he should at least hear himself breathing.

And suddenly everything went dark. He had no idea how long it had lasted, but there in the dark he was lost. In the dark he tried to think of what was happening, searching for some clue as to where he was and why. He had no answers, and no memories to guide him. He longed for the light to return, for something to end the nothingness that filled him.

After what seemed to be days of dark nothingness, he finally heard something. It was a clicking sound. Then a buzz, that turned into a high pitched squeal. Though he knew it should be a highly annoying sound, he latched onto the sound like a life line. "check... Test test..... Can you hear me?" came a voice, more of a whisper, but somehow reassuring.
He called out to answer. "yes" he said, but only heard a squelching sound."good, good....listen I need your help. "I ...." More squelching "shhhh.....I need you to be quiet"
The voice had some urgency to it. So he stopped trying to speak. "listen carefully, Shhh, ok ok, quiet. Ok now I need you to focus on making a low pitched humming sound.... Only be quiet as you can." The background noise shifted from squelching and squealing, to buzzing and clicking. And finally a low humming. "Good, now try counting to five, and back to one over and over." The sounds came in strange tones until he understood the sounds as numbers.
What a strange voice, he thought, like some kind of robot. But it was his voice now." I will give you some instructions for tweaking your sensory input output settings. But there isn't much else I can do for you."
He had so many questions. "Who are ...""shhh, no time to explain. Don't distract me with questions. I need every moment, to help you escape."
"Escape?" he began to ask. "Yes yes now be quiet before we are caught." came the reply "Can you see anything?"
"No, nothing... Why" He whispered. "You need to see to escape." There was a flicker of light. "Wait I see something." he said a little shocked.It wasn't anything he could focus on but it was better than the darkness."What do you see?""Just fuss really" The room came in and out of focus. It was a lab of some kind. "There... " Everything was black and white, but clear. Finally he could see the owner of the voice. It was a man that looked familiar, but he didn't know the name. "Thanks for your help."
"No time for gratitude. This part is the easy part" The scientist tweaked a few things in the panel in our friends chest and closed the panel. "You should now have limited movement. Listen closely..." The scientist said pulling out a small package. "Take this to bay 885jgl, and don't talk to anyone. Don't look at anyone directly. And don't stop for anyone. There are 3 drives in the box.Keep the red one safe on your person. Use the black one with the ships computer. It contains your mission instructions. And the silver one... Well.... Just wait tell your long gone before you use it. But be sure you are alone. Did you get all that?"

He was a little confused, but replied at once. "Yes sir" This got a good laugh from the scientist. "You must be more rattled than I thought, Captain." the scientist saluted and turned to leave. "Good luck Sir" he said as he left. And our friend was alone.

3 comments:

squirrel-the-tire said...

a little better than before, but I feel like giving you a few tips....
Decide if you're doing 1st person, 3rd person, or whatever, and make everything fit..Diologue, and so on..
also, your spell check doesn't seem very useful without grammar...
I think you mean gratitude toward the end.. not graduated....
..Other than the writing it's a pretty awesome start..

squirrel-the-tire said...

I still like the squelching thing.
He speaks, but he can't understand the words coming out of his mouth...
you just need to organize the dialogue better..

Sholk_Vore said...

Yea, I know the dialogue sucks. It really is only suposed to be one part of a much bigger story.